Many Nigerian parents are quick to label a child as 'undisciplined' when they throw toys, hit others, or scream during a meltdown. However, experts warn that these outbursts are rarely about being naughty. Instead, they are often a sign that a child is struggling to understand and manage the intense emotions building up inside them.
Psychologist Faith Nyoike explains that emotional regulation is a vital life skill, just as important as providing food or shelter. She notes that children start experiencing these big, overwhelming feelings as early as age two. If parents don't teach them how to process these emotions early, these children may face significant social and behavioural challenges as they grow older.
The secret to raising a calm child lies in how the parents handle their own stress. Children are like mirrors; they learn by watching how adults react to conflict. If a parent is always 'dysregulated'—reacting with anger or shouting—the child will naturally mimic that behaviour. Parents must show their children that it is okay to feel upset, but it is also important to calm down and resolve disagreements respectfully.
Nyoike also warns against the common habit of using mobile phones to silence a crying child. While handing over a gadget might stop the noise instantly, it prevents the child from learning how to soothe themselves. Over time, this creates a dependency that makes it harder for the child to handle frustration without a screen. Instead, parents should offer hugs, name the emotions like 'anger' or 'sadness,' and reassure the child that they are safe.
Ultimately, the goal is to teach children that big feelings do not have to mean a loss of control. By avoiding shame and harsh punishments, parents can help their children develop empathy, patience, and the ability to build healthy relationships. When teachers and parents work together to create a supportive environment, children learn that their emotions are valid and, more importantly, manageable.
Source: standardmedia.co.ke
image: pexels
